I am in Ubud, Bali, on a mission to cleanse after going through chemotherapy and radiation for breast cancer. In order to do a deep cleanse I am fasting, combined with juicing and a mostly raw vegan diet.

The more I looked at pictures of food while fasting, the more I could taste elements of each dish. I tried to replay any taste and texture memories of dishes I’d tried, and made a great effort imagine any dishes I saw online that I hadn’t had yet. I felt myself getting excited by this food porn journey during my fast.

I’m pondering the start of the Chinese lunar new year. It is the year of the rat, and the new moon is in Aquarius, out of the eclipse cycle. I read a fascinating horoscope from Chani Nicholas and I want to include a quote here because it really solidified where I’m at at this moment in my life, nearly ending the period of cancer treatment and thinking about what lies next for me.