I’m writing this blog post while stuck in paradise — Koh Samui, Thailand. It seems like going through the cancer experience a few months ago was just practice for the pandemic that took hold shortly after I finished my treatments. It has left me longing for the simpler times when cancer was the biggest of my worries, and I didn’t have an inkling that a virus could bring life to a standstill and global economies crashing.

I am in Ubud, Bali, on a mission to cleanse after going through chemotherapy and radiation for breast cancer. In order to do a deep cleanse I am fasting, combined with juicing and a mostly raw vegan diet.

The more I looked at pictures of food while fasting, the more I could taste elements of each dish. I tried to replay any taste and texture memories of dishes I’d tried, and made a great effort imagine any dishes I saw online that I hadn’t had yet. I felt myself getting excited by this food porn journey during my fast.